How to change a diaper in 21 (sort of) easy steps

1. Lay baby on changing table.
2. Roll baby who has immediately flipped onto her stomach back onto her back.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 until baby stays on her back for more than 3 milliseconds.
4. Hand baby toy to try to keep her still.
5. Retrieve baby who is trying to climb headfirst down the front of the dresser.
6. Repeat steps 4 and 5 until baby starts crying.
7. Comfort baby until crying stops.
8. Quickly repeat steps 1 and 4 while using teeth and inside of elbow to fasten changing table strap.
9. Blow rasperries at baby to distract her.
10. Unfasten snaps and attempt to access diaper.
11. Retrieve baby who has wriggled out of straps and is now once again climbing headfirst down the front of the dresser.
12. Repeat step 8, tightening straps as much as possible without hurting baby.
13. Sing to baby while unfastening diaper.
14. Quickly place new diaper underneath baby and use wipes as necessary.
15. Attempt to fasten new diaper.
16. Roll baby who has somehow flipped onto stomach despite straps back onto her back.
17. Repeat steps 15 and 16 until diaper is reasonably secure.
(17a. If diaper has “gaskets” check to make sure they’re still secure, or the next diaper change might not be so fun.)
18. Undo straps to retrieve clothing which is now up around baby’s shoulders.
19. Repeat steps 1 through 8 until baby is once again securely fastened down.
20. Sing silly songs about snaps while attempting to refasten clothing.
21. Congratulations! Baby has a clean diaper, and it only took 20 minutes! Collapse in exhausted heap – after removing baby from changing table where she is once again climbing headfirst down the front of the dresser – until next diaper change.

If baby requires a change of clothes…good luck.