Author: Sarah

One Year Ago

Sarah Carolyn

One year ago today, I found out I was pregnant. Actually, I had taken a test the night before, and saw a faint line, but then I looked at the expiration date on the box and realized that it had expired more than a year before, so I didn’t think I should believe the results. Being the total geek that I am, when I went to buy new tests and saw these digital ones, I had to get them. This was the easy test – after I took this one I had to have blood drawn every 48 hours for the next week and a half to check my hormone levels.

Not a lot of people know this, but it took us three years and infertility treatments to get pregnant. In fact, this was the last “easy” cycle – instead of just taking drugs, I was going to have to start giving myself injections if this one didn’t work. We fell into the “unexplained” infertility category. Nothing particularly wrong with either of us, but things just weren’t working anyway.

It was a really hard couple of years. Every time I heard someone else’s wonderful news, I was happy for them, but I cried for what I was starting to believe I’d never have. I can’t believe I can say this after all those tears, but I’m actually glad things worked out the way they did. If everything had gone as planned and I had gotten pregnant in those first few months, we would not have ended up with this particular child, and she is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us. She is worth everything we went through to get her. She is our miracle.

We do want to have another child someday, if we can, but if it’s not meant to be that’s ok too. I made sure to cherish every minute of being pregnant – even the uncomfortable ones – just in case it never happens for me again.

Random Bits of Cuteness

Sarah Carolyn

I bought Carolyn a pair of sunglasses the other day when it was bright out. I guess they’re still a little big…

Tuesday, it was somewhat warm – 55°F – the sun was out, and the breeze was mild. Carolyn and I went outside for a bit, and the warm breeze on her cheeks and the bright sunlight made her smile and giggle. I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to take her for walks outdoors instead of in the mall. I’d almost forgotten that this will be her first spring! Of course, since Tuesday it’s been bitter cold.

For the past week or so, Carolyn has been enthralled with the dogs. She stares intently at them whenever they cross into her field of vision, and smiles and laughs at them. For the most part, the dogs totally ignore her, but sometimes one of them will come up and sniff her just as she’s leaning to get a better look, and their eyes meet. I haven’t managed to catch it on camera yet, but trust me, it’s adorable.

Sylvan

Sarah Dogs

February 13, 1994 – February 17, 2005
Today my parents had to put down one of their two dogs, Sylvan. He had just turned 11, and was diagnosed with inoperable stomach cancer a couple of months ago. My family adopted him the first year I was away at college, so although I didn’t really grow up with him, he was a constant presence whenever I would go home for school vacations and later whenever I would visit. He was a gentle, loving yellow lab, and I will miss him.

Further Proof That I’m A Bad Mom

Sarah Carolyn


Yes, I dress my little girl in blue. Yes, she looks like a boy. So what? It brings out her pretty blue eyes, too.

Denis and I bought this outfit on purpose because we’d had a bit much of pink after dressing Carolyn in nothing but pink for the first 6 weeks of her life. Besides, I think it’s cute – the onesie says “From my head to my toes, how I love it when it snows!” This is an important thing to teach a child growing up in this climate early on.

(And yes, my daughter is barefoot. In February. No socks! Very. Bad. Mom.)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sarah Firsts

5 little hearts, all in a row:

The first one said, “I love you so.”
The second one said, “Will you be my Valentine?”
The third one said, “I will if you’ll be mine.”
The fourth one said, “I’ll always be your friend.”
The fifth one said, “Until the very end.”

For her first Valentine’s, Carolyn got a single pink rose from her Daddy, and a Baby Einstein gift set. She loves Baby Mozart, and she liked the Language Nursery DVD until the dead DVD player ate it, so Denis found a set with Baby Van Gogh, Baby Shakespeare, and a Bard bath puppet. We don’t let her watch a video every day, but when she does she’s totally enthralled, and giggles all the way through it.

A year ago today, Denis predicted that I was pregnant and that it was a girl. He was right on both counts. And I promised I’d mark this day on the calendar – after all, he was right for once – so consider it marked.

And Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Eve

Sarah General

Since I have rehearsal tomorrow night, we decided to go out to dinner tonight. This was the first time Denis and I have gone out together without the baby – granted, she’s been away from both of us before, but that’s just been for transition times between when I have to leave for rehearsal and when Denis gets home from work. (Living next door to family has lots of advantages!)

It’s not like I was worried about her – she and my mom get along quite well – and I didn’t exactly miss her, because we were only gone for a little more than an hour, but I was very conscious of the fact that she wasn’t there. It’s amazing how last year at this time I didn’t even know she existed (I was just barely pregnant but didn’t know it yet) and now I am acutely aware of her presence at all times.

The baby books I’ve read all say how important it is for the parents to go out together without the baby on a regular basis and – and this is the funny part – not talk about the baby at all. Yeah, right. That would be like going to a party with a pink elephant in the middle of the room and everybody pretending it wasn’t there. It’s not as though we spent our entire meal talking about Carolyn, but she’s a pretty big part of our lives, so of course her name came up once or twice. Ah, well, I guess that’s just further proof that we’re the worst parents ever, since we can’t stop talking about our fabulous baby for even an hour!

(Notice that I can’t even write a blog post without mentioning her at least once, either? Yep, worst mom ever.)

The Medicator

Sarah Carolyn

There is a new item at the top of my can’t-live-without-it list of baby products: The Medicator. It’s basically a teeny-tiny bottle, or a glorified pacifier, that makes the medicine go down much easier than a spoonful of sugar ever could. What used to be a total wrestling match, with gooey sticky medicine ending up everywhere but in the baby, has all of a sudden become so easy that I’m actually looking forward to the next time I have to give her something. (Not that I want to have to give my daughter medicine, but we appear to be in the midst of massive teething pain and Tylenol seems to be helping.)

Anyway, someday I’ll have to make an actual list of my must-have baby things. It’s mainly stuff I didn’t register for, and didn’t think I’d need or want. A lot of the stuff I thought I needed – not so useful.

We finally got the bookcase for her room. Tomorrow we’ll have to put it together and put all her books and toys in it. I’m guessing at least half – maybe three quarters – of her books are puppy-related, since every time I see any board book having to do with dogs I buy it. I can’t help it!

Extreme Cuteness

Sarah Carolyn

In between bouts of unexplained crying – it seems a bit early, but I think there may be some teething going on – Carolyn and I had a little photo shoot today. Don’t you want to just tickle those chubby little knees? And that’s not even the cutest picture, either – this was actually the post photo shoot outfit change.

We also went to the salon tonight. Carrie sat in my lap while they dried my hair, and had a grand time flirting with all the babies in the mirrors. I need to find a giant unbreakable mirror to put up behind her changing table soon.

Oh, Pooh!

Sarah Carolyn

Here is an entirely different pooh outfit – this one isn’t cursed. This was a pseudo-hand-me-down from Carrie’s cousin Michelle. (It still had the tags on, so I don’t think it really counts as a hand-me-down, does it?) I’m not sure why I like this outfit so much, but I do. Of course, we make all the required jokes about what might be in her Pooh pants.

The quilt she’s laying on is her tummy-time quilt, and it was made by my great-grandmother for my youngest brother 20 years ago. Aside from the fact that it’s generally got quite a bit of dog fur on it, it looks pretty darn good for being 20 years old. No, the dog fur isn’t 20 years old, and yes, I wash it regularly. Dog fur is just a fact of life in this house. If exposure to allergens during childhood helps prevent allergies, Carolyn is going to have an anti-allergy to dogs. That will be one of her super powers. (The other, of course, being extreme cuteness.)


(Is it pathetic that I coordinate her toys with her clothes for pictures sometimes?)

The Curse of the Puppy Outfit

Sarah Carolyn

There’s apparently an unwritten rule that baby clothes with puppies on them have to be blue. So, even though it causes Carolyn to look like a boy*, several weeks ago I bought her a really cute teddy bear and puppy outfit that’s blue, white, and teddy bear brown.

It’s cursed.

Carrie’s worn it maybe 4 or 5 times, and each and every time she’s had a major diaper blow-out. I just finished cleaning up the most recent one. Well, “finished” may not be an appropriate word, since I still need to put my jeans through the wash, but I figured the baby clothes took precedence. This incident actually required a bath and everything, and I’m afraid her white socks won’t ever be the same again.

I’m going to rename it the Poopy Outfit, and I think I’ll wait until she’s in the next size up diapers to try it again.

*I’ve actually been asked, while Carolyn is dressed head-to-toe in pink, if she’s a girl or a boy, so I suppose it really doesn’t matter if she wears blue occasionally…