Monthly Updates

Dear Carolyn,

Today you are three years and eight months old. You really are too cute for words sometimes. Lately you’ve been cracking me up on a daily basis…and driving me up a wall on a daily basis too!

So what’s been going on this month? Not much! School ended, and with it any pretense we had of a daily schedule. You’ve become mightily addicted to TV, as I’ve been trying to keep my feet up and my blood pressure down. We have daily battles over turning the TV off, but once we do you have no problems filling your time up with other fun things. I do feel badly, because you beg to go to the park or out in the pool on a daily basis, and I just don’t have the energy to do those things with you without another adult around to lend a hand right now.

On the other hand, you’re intensely into books right now. There was a stretch of a week or so where if Daddy or I sat down you’d hold us hostage with book after book after book after book…pretty much until we couldn’t possibly read one more thing without completely losing any voice we had. And then you’d switch to the other one of us. As a result, you either have all your books memorized, or you’ve finally connected all the pieces to actually read fluently. (And given that you can read new books pretty much on your own, I’m guessing it’s more the latter.)

I think you might be headed for a growth spurt, because you’ve actually been eating lately. Not just your standard cereal, yogurt, fruit, veggies, pb&j kind of diet, but actual meat, pasta, and even scrambled eggs. The other day you even ate rice and beans – granted, they were in separate bowls (god forbid anything touch – you get that from me, apparently I did that as a kid too), but the point is, you ate them. You’d still live on olives and blueberries alone if I let you, but I’m glad to see you actually do like food, and will eat it when your body needs it. That’s really all I can ask. (Of course, it’s never been a problem getting you to eat ice cream.)

I just realized that if all goes according to plan, this might be the last update I write to you as an only child. (If your sister is a bit late, you might get one more letter all to yourself!) I have really mixed feelings about this. I know you’re going to love your new baby sister, and at the same time I’m worried that you’re going to think we destroyed your life. Change is really hard, even for someone as “old” as I am, and we’re going to be asking you to handle a very, very big change. I hope that all the dire predictions about this that we’ve gotten from (assuredly well-meaning) others are wrong, and that even though your life is going to be very, very different, you won’t really hate us for it, or feel that you’ve been displaced or replaced. Nobody, ever, could take your place in my heart. You are my very special baby girl, and you always will be.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Three-and-a-half has proven to be complicated for you. Before, if I asked you how many you wanted of something, you’d say “three, because I’m three years old!” but now you’re three-and-a-half and things don’t always come in halves. (And I’m really sorry, but I’m just not creative enough to cut your PB&J sandwich into three and a half triangles!)

You’re reading more and more every day. Everywhere we go you read signs. You read the headlines in the paper while I’m reading it at breakfast (note to self: stop reading the paper at breakfast so we can avoid awkward conversations about war and rising gas prices.) You’re pretty much independently reading the level one books in the “step into reading” types of series. Spelling, on the other hand, is still a very creative thing for you. The other day you decided to spell “vacuum cleaner” on the fridge, and it came out “vacyoom cleenr”. Although, actually, that’s not *that* far off.

I’ve also started practicing cutting with you. I feel pretty guilty because it was the one thing your teachers mentioned at the mid-year evaluation, that you might need a little help with, and I didn’t actually take their advice until the other day when I was parent helper and saw how much harder a time you were having than the other kids. Well, just a few short sessions with a cutting workbook and a pair of safety scissors and you’re already about 100% more proficient with them. I wonder what else I should be working on with you that I’m not? The problem is that I’m not ready to push you into doing workbooks, even though you really do seem to enjoy them. I mean, we’ve got over a year until kindergarten, isn’t there enough time before then for you to just pick this stuff up?

All of a sudden this month you’ve become a little kisser. Every time I turn around you’re kissing me, kissing my belly, blowing kisses to random strangers in the store, blowing kisses to Mimi’s family (yes, Mimi has made a reappearance in the past few weeks). And you say “I love you Mommy!” at least hourly. This is definitely a wonderful new quirk to your personality, because you’ve never really been a cuddler, so getting extra hugs and kisses from you makes my day!

Ever since we moved you to a twin bed with a real mattress, you’ve been sleeping through the night in your own bed. (Well, except one night, but that one doesn’t count because you had taken a nap and didn’t go to sleep until after Daddy and I went to bed). I have to confess I miss waking up to your warm little snuggly body stuck to me like glue in the morning, but I’m glad that you’re (obviously) more comfortable in your new bed. And like everything else it’s another transition that I’m probably going to have more trouble with than you will!

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Today you are officially three and a half years old. I don’t know where the time has gone, I think just yesterday you were six months old! You’ve gone from being that little baby who was just starting to eat solid foods to a big girl who loves to help us cook in just three short years.

Your reading is coming along amazingly. In a month you’ve gone from three letter short vowel sound words to understanding the whole “silent e” thing and figuring out a few sight words like “the”, “and” and “to”. You sit in your carseat while we’re driving and just test out sounds and sound combinations – a lot like you did when you were a baby, but much more sophisticated – “b..uh..k, book! b..oo..t, boot!” You also like to experiment with spelling words on the refrigerator…let’s just say, your spelling is quite creative – although I can pretty much always figure out what words you’re trying to make.

Sleep is still pretty elusive these days. I’m starting to think you’re outgrowing the rock hard mattress on your toddler bed, because you comment on how comfy and cozy our bed is when you crawl in with us every night. I just have to find some new furniture for you, and then we’ll switch you into a twin bed. This way we won’t have to buy a new crib mattress, anyway.

I can’t believe what a big girl you’re becoming. When I wake up before you and you’re sleeping in our bed, you look so…old. Well, not old, but I can see in your face the young women you’ll become in 15 years or so, much more than I can see the baby you were just a few years ago. And yet, you’ll always be my baby.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Every day you surprise me somehow. Usually it’s how late you can stay awake before you finally crash, but just over this past weekend you really shocked us…

You can read! A little, anyway. I totally blame it on all of the Leapfrog products we have, but you can sound out short vowel sounds words, like “dog”, “cat”, “get”, “pig” and “mug”. When we were dyeing the Easter eggs you looked at the egg carton and read the word “egg”. And then in a story we read later you sounded out “hen”. I’m not sure how to help you from here, but we’ll figure it out. Of course, now I’m starting to realize how many words in the English language don’t follow any rules for pronunciation!

It seems, though, that we’ve traded off reading for sleeping. You regularly stay up until 10:30, or later, because as you say, “my imagination jumps out of my head and goes under my bed!” I’m tempted to put a twin-sized boxspring and mattress on your floor so there is no “under the bed”, but then your imagination might go under your dresser or behind the chair next. So for now we’re all settling for way too little sleep.

The idea of having a baby sister has really grown on you by now, and you love to talk about all the things you’ll do with your baby sister, like teach her how to roll over, sit up and use the potty. I’m sure you’re going to be the best big sister ever, and I can’t wait to see how you grow and change…and at the same time I’m already a little sad about how things will change between you and I. I’m sure we’ll figure it out as we go along, but I can’t help but worry that you’ll wonder if there’s enough love to go around for both you and your sister. And of course there is, because I already love you both with all my heart.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Some of my very earliest memories of childhood are from when I was exactly the age you are now. So I wonder what you’ll remember when you’re all grown up? And even more, I wonder what I’ll remember of you being this age…which is why I keep trying to write it down!

With the musical opening in just a couple of weeks, we’ve been at rehearsal a lot. And you have pretty much every song, including all the dialog over the underscoring, and most of the scenes memorized. I just have to play the opening bars of any song and you’ll immediately start singing along. Your favorite line, though, is when Chip says “See? I told ya’!” to Mrs. Potts. So now whenever you tell me something it’s usually followed with “I told ya’, Mommy!”

And I have to admit, aside from rehearsals, we haven’t done much else besides your daily activities (school, playgroup or dance class) and watch TV. I have been so incredibly tired lately that I have to just close my eyes for a few minutes after lunch every day, and that translates into you getting to watch however much JoJo’s Circus, Word World and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse you want. I feel like a horribly mommy, but you’re just plain thrilled. I’m just glad we have a Tivo!

This month has been a bit…dramatic. Everything is meltdown worthy, even though you’re generally an easy going kind of kid. I don’t know if it’s the extra on-the-go time we spend at rehearsals, or if it’s just that the idea of a new sibling is finally catching up to you? If it’s that, I know we’ll have to show you and not just tell you, but we’ll never run out of love for you just because we’ll have another baby in the house to love, and you’ll always be my baby.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Oh, it’s been a busy, busy month. Between the holidays, and rehearsals starting…we barely have time to just chill, you and I. I have to admit, I’m worried that things are just going to keep getting busier and busier until one day you’re all of a sudden moving away for college and I’ll be wondering where my pig-tailed preschooler went.

This month you’ve discovered princesses. You’d seen Cinderella before, but I let you watch Beauty and the Beast so you’d have some frame of reference for all the rehearsals you’re coming to with me. It scares you…but not nearly as much as I feared. In fact, the parts you worry about most are when Belle’s Papa is taken away, and when Papa is looking for Belle later. And it hasn’t given you nightmares or anything…and you ask to watch it often. Somehow this has led to you knowing who Ariel, Sleeping Beauty and Jasmine are. Maybe this is just a latent genetic memory triggered by watching one or two Disney movies? Or is there some sort of subliminal message buried in the movies you’ve seen? I really had meant to “protect” you from all the over-commercialized princess things, but one thing led to another and now you’re (slightly) obsessed.

I got to meet with your teachers earlier this month, for an “evaluation”. They had nothing but good things to say about you, although they did mention that you have such a quiet little voice. And I had to ask if they were sure we were discussing the same child. Apparently, you find it hard to speak up in class! After listening to you chatter, sing and giggle all day long, I have a hard time believing it.

You know, last month I would have said that terrible twos are a myth, and terrible threes are the reality. But this month has been fabulous. You are a charming, wonderful, imaginative, interesting and funny girl now. Sure, we still have our moments of disagreements, and they can be big, emotional things, but they’re just passing moments instead of whole days now. I just wish I could slow time down a little to enjoy these days more…but then again, I think I’ve been wishing that since the day you were born, and it hasn’t happened yet!

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Have I ever told you what a good kid you are? I feel like a lot of our days consist of me counting to three, repeatedly, but really, you’re very good the vast majority of the time. I don’t think I catch you in the act of being good often enough, but I’m trying to get better at it.

This month you’ve been working on your sense of humor. You know now two knock-knock jokes (who’s there? ach. ach who? god bless you! is my personal favorite) and the “you EIGHT the sandbox?!?” joke. You try your jokes out on everyone you can, including complete strangers in the mall. Never let it be said that you’re a shy child.

You’re also working on learning the days of the week. We don’t have the regular old names for them, though, we have “playgroup day”, “school day”, “Simone day”, “school day”, “dance day”, “Daddy day”, and “church/family day”. Every morning when you wake up, you ask me what today means for you. It’s nice to have a familiar routine, for both of us. Of course, that routine is going to go out the window for the next week or two, but hopefully the fact that it is a routine will make it easier to get back into the swing of things after the new year.

You’ve become quite the social butterfly at school, and have even started asking if you can invite one of your school friends for a playdate. Actually, I’m pretty sure you asked her to come over during school, because the other day you were very sad that she hadn’t come to visit yet. I had to explain that mommies get to set up playdates, not kids, and that we’ll have to arrange it after the holidays. I’m really happy to see that you’re making new friends!

This has been such a busy, crazy month, and even though you’re looking forward very much to tomorrow and seeing what Santa brought (you asked him for a dollhouse and a yo-yo this year) I’m looking forward very much to the new year and a return to calm, every day life. Well, as calm as life gets around here, anyway!

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

I’ve been thinking long and hard about whether to keep writing these letters now that you’re three. Will you really appreciate them when you’re older, or will you just be embarrassed that I put all this stuff about you on my blog? But I just can’t seem to let it go yet…maybe when you’re four?

This month, I’m happy to say, has been fabulous school-wise. I can’t even get you to give me a kiss goodbye sometimes, because you’re so eager to run off and join your classmates. This makes me really glad I stuck with it during those heartbreaking drop-offs – not that you ever really cried when I left you, but you just clung to me with all your strength. Now you can’t get enough of school!

You’ve also become a lot more comfortable hanging out at the shop with me when I’ve had to bring you along. You love to “play store” with the bins of sale yarn and your toy cash register. And you really help me out when I’m putting price stickers on the yarn…although I probably shouldn’t admit that since you’re not old enough to work yet!

Three so far is definitely harder than two was. You’re trying to become your own independent person, and I’m just trying to get us places on time. You have an uncanny ability to move slower than molasses whenever we’re running late. But we’re figuring it out, you and I, and I think by the time you turn four, three will be a piece of cake!

Love Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Today you are three years old! You didn’t quite believe us at first, because you thought you needed to have a party before you could turn three, but I think we managed to convince you by the time Daddy left for work. (You’re still waiting, patiently, for your ladybug cake, though!)

In honor of your birthday, you told your first joke. Your great-grandparents called to sing you Happy Birthday. When your grandpa asked you about it at dinner, he said, “I just want to know one thing, were they on key, or were they flat?” And you replied, “No, they were on the phone!” At least, I think you were trying to be funny.

As I predicted last month, things are much more routine and much less stressful. You’re still having trouble with the transition to preschool, but I’m encouraged by the fact that your teachers think you’re adjusting just fine. Maybe we’ll just be spending the next 15 years with you telling me you don’t want to go to school every day?

Mimi has become quite the alter ego for you. You use her all the time to save face now. I’ll ask you if you want something, like pancakes for breakfast, and you’ll immediately say “No!” But then after a couple of beats you’ll say, “But Mimi thinks I should…” Now Mimi’s Mommy and Daddy apparently live with us too, and if there’s something you think I don’t want you to do, you’ll tell me that Mimi’s Mommy told you not to do it. Hey, whatever encourages you to eat the occasional meal and keeps you from climbing on the back of the couch works for me.

It takes my breath away to see how much you’ve grown since the day I met you. There are days that feel like years all on their own, but when I look back at the years it feels like it’s been just a few days. It’s so cliché, whenever anyone says how quickly it goes by, but it’s so very true. You’re three now, and you’ve learned how to open the refrigerator door, get dressed and undressed, and use the potty pretty much independently, and I’m worried it won’t be much longer before you don’t really need me for much of anything. But, I promise, I will always be here when you do need me. Happy Birthday, baby!

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Today you are one month away from being three. Soon I’m going to have to convince you that the answer to how old you are is “three!” instead of “two-and-a-half!” (I never could get you to say “two-and-three-quarters”.) You are already excited about your upcoming birthday, and the answer to any question about it is “a ladybug cake!” Someone could ask you “when’s your birthday”, and you answer “a ladybug cake!” “How old will you be?” “A ladybug cake!” It’s actually pretty funny, especially with complete strangers who have no idea what you’re saying and think you can’t talk clearly. Not that the confusion is cleared up much when I translate for them.

I’m finding that I’m still translating for you, even though I don’t really think I need to anymore. I guess I’m just most fluent in Carrie-speak. Complete and clear sentences – maybe because they’re unexpected? – still seem to confuse people. And you do still have a few made-up words. I’m dreading the parent-teacher conference where they ask why I feed you “opium” for breakfast. I’m absolutely, 100% certain that you can say the word “oatmeal”, you just won’t. Why can’t you just say “pasketti” like a normal child?

Speaking of teachers, it’s only been a couple of weeks but you seem to be enjoying preschool. Well, once you’re in the room and I’m out of sight, that is. Parting is such sweet sorrow, or something like that. But when I pick you up you’re all full of happy stories about what you did all morning, so I guess it’s just a matter of you getting comfortable with me leaving and then always coming back for you.

I realized today how close you are to reading – you know several words by sight, including “mom”, “dad”, “dog”, “cat”, “stop”, “go”, and “Carolyn”, and can sound out many words…as long as they have short vowel sounds, anyway. I’m not sure where to go from here. You honestly can’t get enough of letters and words, but I have no idea how to teach you the rest of what you need to know to actually be able to read. Phonics are a great start, but how to I explain that sometimes “y” sounds like “ee”, or that “oo” in “moon” is different than “oo” in book?!?

We’re settling into something resembling a routine now, which I think (I hope) will help some of the stress we’ve both been feeling over all of these transitions. I think that by this time next month we’ll still feel busy but we’ll be comfortable with it. Which is good…I have a ladybug cake to make!

Love, Mommy