Carolyn

Dear Carolyn,

I’ve been pretty edgy and tense lately, and I think it’s because I was dreading today. I felt like my baby would be gone, and I’d be left with a big girl I hardly recognized…only, when you woke up this morning, you were still, well, you.

We had a fabulous day today. You started out with school, and had a little birthday party there, with chocolate pudding and a special story that I got to read (you picked Farmer Brown Shears His Sheep again – that was what you picked last year. I guess you like it!) After school we went to Wendy’s for lunch with your friend Joey, and then we went to Build-a-Bear, where you made a monkey…named “Potato”. Finally, we came home and Daddy and I made you a ham dinner (your request) and we had a pumpkin roll instead of a cake (don’t worry, the pink alligator cake is still on the menu for your party next weekend!) You got to open gifts, including the My Little Pony Teapot Palace you wanted so badly, and then you went to bed. Really, it was a wonderful, super day.

This past week I went through and read all the monthly letters I’d written to you up until now. It amazes me how much you’ve grown and changed. And it also amazes me how much I’ve grown and changed. I had no idea what being a mom really meant until you arrived, and although I still sometimes find parenting challenging, being your mom? That’s easy. Because no matter what, I love you.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

One month left of year three…I’ve been telling people you’re “almost four” for so long now that in my head you’re already four. Actually, in my head I suspect you’re a lot older than that even. I keep worrying that I’ve missed giving you certain opportunities (piano lessons and sports teams) and then I realize that you still have years and years ahead of you to try out whatever you’re interested in before you have to settle down and figure out what you want to be when you grow up. (For the record, you’re pretty stuck on “firefighter” right now.)

So for the past few weeks, my “why” girl seems to have been replaced by a lightbulb. You are so full of “whats” lately – usually following any explanation I give you when you’ve asked “why”, first. I’m beginning to think you need your hearing checked!

And filed under “cute right now, but could potentially become obnoxious”, you’ve started stomping your foot and saying “no!” when you’re unhappy about whatever I’ve just said. I do have to struggle not to laugh at it, because pretty much immediately after you’ll become cooperative…you obviously want to please us, but you also want a bit more control over your life than you currently have. It’s a tough thing, kiddo. I still sometimes want to stomp my foot and say “no!” to life.

The other day I was struck by how very grown up you’ve become. It was after dance class, and we had to meet Daddy at the shop to get a few things done. You were wearing your purple sparkly leotard and a pair of purple sweat pants – you looked like a professional dancer. Daddy and I were both busy, and then after a bit I went to see what you were up to, and I found you – my shy-around-strangers girl – sitting right at the table with everyone who was there for Sit & Knit and knitting a few stitches on someone’s scarf (with her help, of course!) I think that’s why in my head you’re so much older. You’ve become so self-confident and out-going that you just seem like you can’t possibly still be three. So I’m going to remind myself every morning to enjoy this last month of you being three, because all too soon you’re going to be all grown up!

Love, Mommy