Carolyn

Dear Carolyn,

I blinked and another month went by! We’ve been managing to keep pretty busy, even with Anna taking up so much of our attention. We’ve been going to the farmer’s market, the library, playgroup, playdates…and I’d guess that has a lot to do with why the time is flying by so quickly. The end of summer is just around the corner, and it’s not too long before you go back to school!

You’re turning into a little comedienne: the other day you asked me, “Mommy, how do baby ducks learn to fly?” So I tried to give you a real answer, something about the mommy and daddy ducks showing the baby ducks how to flap their wings, etc, etc…and you got really indignant: “No, Mommy! How do baby ducks learn to FLY?!?” “Um, I don’t know honey, how do you think they learn to fly?” “They just wing it!” You’d think a few days later when you asked, “Mommy, why do birds fly south for the winter?” I would have realized you were making another joke instead of seriously asking. (The punchline, in case you don’t remember later, is “Because it’s too far to walk!” (Bah-dum-bum.))

We haven’t talked about your favorite toys lately, and there’s definitely been a shift recently. You are so into tiny little (choking-hazard-sized) toys now – itty-bitty Hello Kitty dolls, the tiny My Little Pony sets, and now…Barbie, along with all her tiny shoes and things. Gasp! (Just kidding, I have absolutely nothing against Barbie, I just didn’t expect you to want them so soon!) You also have a collection of Calico Critters living in your room, although I left the upstairs gate open one evening while we were out and Molly (apparently) ate half of them. No matter what I give you to play with, you wind up role playing. Two cars? One’s the mommy and the other is the kid. A box of crayons? They more often end up dancing and talking than actually marking any paper. It’s really interesting to eavesdrop on this kind of play, because it usually reflects what’s going on in your life – the good and the not-so-good.

You’re really settling into the big sister role now. Anna smiles at you a lot, because you get right in her face and talk to her, sing to her and shake toys for her. I feel like I’m constantly telling you to be gentle, not wake Anna, wash the peanut butter off your hands, and keep your voice somewhat quieter than banshee-level, but most of the time you are just trying to help…just maybe a bit enthusiastically. I can’t wait until Anna’s a bit bigger and more interactive, because watching you with her now fills me with joy, and it will only get better – until Anna starts trying to play with your toys, of course! You really are my sweet, wonderful little girl. I love you.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Today you are 3 and 3/4 years old! To say that a lot has changed in your life this month would be a little bit of an understatement. You’ve gone from being an only child to being a great big sister – and while we haven’t gotten all the details sorted out about that, you’re adapting better than anyone could have predicted. But you haven’t only become a big sister this month, let’s see what else has happened…

You amazed me the other day when I pulled out a deck of sight word flash cards for ages 6 and up, and you read all but maybe 15 of the 150+ words. You didn’t sound them out, you just read them. I don’t know why I found it so incredible, since you were practically reading all of “One Fish, Two Fish” a couple of weeks ago, but I guess I’d talked myself into believing you’d memorized the book after we read it to you a couple of times. Not so. You are officially reading, and acting like it’s the most normal thing in the world for you to be doing.

Lately everything has been about you turning four. I think it’s because you’ve been to a couple of birthday parties over the past few weeks, but you’re obsessed with turning four. When we ask you if you want to try a new food, you say “no thank you, but when I’m four I will like it!” You somehow got it into your head that you have to be four before you start preschool in the fall – although you don’t, and won’t, but we’ll have to deal with that closer to when school starts. Oh, and at the moment, you want an alligator cake for your birthday. I’m kind of hoping you change your mind, since I’m not quite sure how to make an alligator cake, but if you insist we’ll figure it out!

So about this big sister gig. I have to admit, when we first got home with Anna, your exuberance and energy was overwhelming to me. It took a few days for me to realize that you were just trying very hard to make sure you still had an important place in our family. It’s going to take us all a little while to figure out how to be a family of four instead of a family of three, but you will always be as special and important as you were before Anna joined us. I promise.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Today you are three years and eight months old. You really are too cute for words sometimes. Lately you’ve been cracking me up on a daily basis…and driving me up a wall on a daily basis too!

So what’s been going on this month? Not much! School ended, and with it any pretense we had of a daily schedule. You’ve become mightily addicted to TV, as I’ve been trying to keep my feet up and my blood pressure down. We have daily battles over turning the TV off, but once we do you have no problems filling your time up with other fun things. I do feel badly, because you beg to go to the park or out in the pool on a daily basis, and I just don’t have the energy to do those things with you without another adult around to lend a hand right now.

On the other hand, you’re intensely into books right now. There was a stretch of a week or so where if Daddy or I sat down you’d hold us hostage with book after book after book after book…pretty much until we couldn’t possibly read one more thing without completely losing any voice we had. And then you’d switch to the other one of us. As a result, you either have all your books memorized, or you’ve finally connected all the pieces to actually read fluently. (And given that you can read new books pretty much on your own, I’m guessing it’s more the latter.)

I think you might be headed for a growth spurt, because you’ve actually been eating lately. Not just your standard cereal, yogurt, fruit, veggies, pb&j kind of diet, but actual meat, pasta, and even scrambled eggs. The other day you even ate rice and beans – granted, they were in separate bowls (god forbid anything touch – you get that from me, apparently I did that as a kid too), but the point is, you ate them. You’d still live on olives and blueberries alone if I let you, but I’m glad to see you actually do like food, and will eat it when your body needs it. That’s really all I can ask. (Of course, it’s never been a problem getting you to eat ice cream.)

I just realized that if all goes according to plan, this might be the last update I write to you as an only child. (If your sister is a bit late, you might get one more letter all to yourself!) I have really mixed feelings about this. I know you’re going to love your new baby sister, and at the same time I’m worried that you’re going to think we destroyed your life. Change is really hard, even for someone as “old” as I am, and we’re going to be asking you to handle a very, very big change. I hope that all the dire predictions about this that we’ve gotten from (assuredly well-meaning) others are wrong, and that even though your life is going to be very, very different, you won’t really hate us for it, or feel that you’ve been displaced or replaced. Nobody, ever, could take your place in my heart. You are my very special baby girl, and you always will be.

Love, Mommy

Dear Carolyn,

Three-and-a-half has proven to be complicated for you. Before, if I asked you how many you wanted of something, you’d say “three, because I’m three years old!” but now you’re three-and-a-half and things don’t always come in halves. (And I’m really sorry, but I’m just not creative enough to cut your PB&J sandwich into three and a half triangles!)

You’re reading more and more every day. Everywhere we go you read signs. You read the headlines in the paper while I’m reading it at breakfast (note to self: stop reading the paper at breakfast so we can avoid awkward conversations about war and rising gas prices.) You’re pretty much independently reading the level one books in the “step into reading” types of series. Spelling, on the other hand, is still a very creative thing for you. The other day you decided to spell “vacuum cleaner” on the fridge, and it came out “vacyoom cleenr”. Although, actually, that’s not *that* far off.

I’ve also started practicing cutting with you. I feel pretty guilty because it was the one thing your teachers mentioned at the mid-year evaluation, that you might need a little help with, and I didn’t actually take their advice until the other day when I was parent helper and saw how much harder a time you were having than the other kids. Well, just a few short sessions with a cutting workbook and a pair of safety scissors and you’re already about 100% more proficient with them. I wonder what else I should be working on with you that I’m not? The problem is that I’m not ready to push you into doing workbooks, even though you really do seem to enjoy them. I mean, we’ve got over a year until kindergarten, isn’t there enough time before then for you to just pick this stuff up?

All of a sudden this month you’ve become a little kisser. Every time I turn around you’re kissing me, kissing my belly, blowing kisses to random strangers in the store, blowing kisses to Mimi’s family (yes, Mimi has made a reappearance in the past few weeks). And you say “I love you Mommy!” at least hourly. This is definitely a wonderful new quirk to your personality, because you’ve never really been a cuddler, so getting extra hugs and kisses from you makes my day!

Ever since we moved you to a twin bed with a real mattress, you’ve been sleeping through the night in your own bed. (Well, except one night, but that one doesn’t count because you had taken a nap and didn’t go to sleep until after Daddy and I went to bed). I have to confess I miss waking up to your warm little snuggly body stuck to me like glue in the morning, but I’m glad that you’re (obviously) more comfortable in your new bed. And like everything else it’s another transition that I’m probably going to have more trouble with than you will!

Love, Mommy